Alive-est

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I'm not a travelling man, but three or four of weeks ago, I traveled four hours from home because someone had caught my eye.  Four hours to determine if I was mistaking my imagination for memory.


So, I hopped in the car with no intel and an extremely underdeveloped plan.  And I started driving.  It was in that instance that I came Alive.  The car ride is still vivid.  I can see the sun slipping below the horizon as I glanced out the window.  I remember the meal I ordered at the Wendy's in St. Cloud.  Every mile brought me further into the unknown and I became more aware; my senses absorbing information in preparation.   


I stayed in Minneapolis for two nights.  Every waking second is imprinted in my mind.  This isn't an instance where someone asks you what you did last weekend and you try to piece it together.  No, I can tell you 

• that I walked out of my room at exactly 11:57am, 
• that the old lady at the T-mobile store was wearing a red blouse,
•  that the cashier at Gap was a brunette with a white blouse and black pants, 
• that a spanish speaking woman had a crying baby in the dressing room next to me,
•  that I had the new grilled chicken and cheddar sandwich from Potbelly's with harvest cheddar sun chips, sat in the booth directly behind an Indian couple, and a pregnant wife w/ husband came in as I sat down
• that at the first park I visited an elderly couple walked past me as I left the car, there was a young black woman with three small children on the swings and a trio of black men sitting by a grey car in the parking lot 

These are a few of the many details I remember. These details that people would call "minor" are literally burned into my mind.  Being in a situation with no plan, with no sure direction of what you're going to do, or how the day would end forces the mind to anchor every seeming minor detail.  


And when I encountered the reason for the journey, I was ALIVE (notice the caps).  I felt as if I was picking up cues, making judgments, and walking a path that I didn't make but that materialized one step at a time.  The nervousness and excitement that swept over me was thrilling.  I was attuned.  I was completely There.  That doesn't happen often enough.


Harnessing that level of awareness, being Alive at that level would be amazing.  What could I create and accomplish if I could train my mind to Be There and grab the answers from around me.  Easier said that done, but a feat worth attempting.  Great weekend overall.




Oh and it was definitely Memory.  

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In response to...
When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand.

(Author: Sam Davidson)

Personal Recipe

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

I've never been much a chef, but this is a recipe I think I can handle.  So, let's begin!

HOW TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL ME+5YRS

Things To Do:

• Continue to learn new things
• Laugh at life often
• Make decisions based upon your values
• Try to be better than the year before
• Keep reading words that inspire

Things To NOT Do:

• Blame others for your situations or circumstances
• Be negligent of personal finances
• Ignore the relationships that matter most
• Forget what's important to you.

V.

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In response to...
Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

(Author: Harley Schreiber)

Call to Arms

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

MEMO:

Today marks the beginning of Something New.
Today the dynamic of the job has changed.  Although you are in my employ, you work for yourselves.
Own your work.
Together we will set a direction, but you will set the path.
Feet draggers will be left behind.


V.

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In response to...
What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)

(Author: Sasha Dichter)

Most Ordinary

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Recently, I've been reading a lot about the idea of False.  In a past post, I wrote about how there was no one I was dying to meet; a post about creating false stories of other people and learning to see people truly.  These Falsehoods are pervasive and tend to seep their way into other areas of my life and mind.  


Valentine's Falsehoods

1.  I can't write a book because I haven't had any "extraordinary" experiences.
2.  This person is a much better writer than I.  I should just read his/her work instead of creating my own.
3.  I wish I could work more like that person, I feel incompetent in comparison.


What purpose is served by looking at another and saying to yourself, "I'm less because I'm not like them"?  I have to remember that these people are nothing more than a combination of ordinary experiences and they only seem extraordinary because I haven't seen their journey.  

Magicians are only exciting because you haven't learned the trick.  

V.

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In response to...

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

(Author: Patti Digh)

Intuition

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

If my Intuition had an incarnation, I imagine he would look like the following:


My intuition is a young man; at that age where imagination and reason co-exist harmoniously.  He looks identical to me; full lips, bald head, clean shaven, chocolate brown skin and eyes.  No glasses adorn his face because its his nature to see life clearly.  His eyes dance as he walks around with a knowing smile as if he alone is in on some grand joke.  He is dressed simply; wearing only a plain white t-shirt and shorts with no pockets because he always has what he needs.  He prefers to walk barefoot, but since we are eating in a restaurant he's wearing a black pair of the five finger shoes.


As we sit down to eat our Chicago deep dish spinach and sausage pizza he gazes at me intently.  He looks at me, through me, for an uncomfortably long time before he calmly says, 

"We work well together, you and I.  Since before you knew who I was, you followed me and my path and your steps have been true."  

He leans forward and looks at me again, his chin resting on his thumbs and his steepled fingers against his lips.  His voice takes an urgent tone as he says, 

"Remember, do not see me in everything.  I do not exist in all places or in every decision you make.  While every experience has lessons to teach, do not cause yourself avoidable suffering.  Do not confuse following me with following Chance.  I see things clearly, Chance walks blind."  

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In response to...

If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you?

(Author: Susan Piver)

Courage to Connect

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

I used to be the guy who had an answer to questions like this.  In college, I would see those people that everyone knew and say to myself, "I need to meet that person."  Eventually, I would meet them and in many cases befriend them, only to come to the realization that they were, in fact, also human. duh.  Nowadays, I just connect with the people that motivate me to want to connect.  There is no longing for an opportunity, especially no dying for one! 

To quote Jubei from the popular anime "Ninja Scroll", "No matter where you go, people are people."  

So Wise.

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In response to...

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

Enthusiasm

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

One trait that my life has made abundantly clear that I do not possess is discipline.  Don't worry, I've come to accept this.  If you live a life without discipline, it is essential that you have an abundance of positive energy and enthusiasm or you will accomplish very little.  Thankfully, I've been blessed with both in ample quantities.


One trick for me to get more enthusiastic about my work is to have it truly be my work!  I'm not self-employed which means that much of "my" work is given to me or guided by my supervisor. My strategy was to wait to tell my boss what I was working on.  Doing this allowed me to ride my enthusiasm towards creating my vision rather than my supervisor's.  **warning** This doesn't work in every scenario!


Harnessing my enthusiasm is also tied with doing work that matters.  I can't get revved up to alphabetize folders... unless those folders would save the life of a child!  Part of the meaning I take from life is tied to the work I do.  I want my work to impact people.  Seeing how my work can touch someone's life makes me want to create an experience they won't forget.


I understand that sometimes you just need to work where ever you can get a job, but if you have the capacity to choose, why work somewhere you don't get excited about?

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In response to...

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” is a great line from Emerson. If there’s no enthusiasm in what you do, it won’t be remarkable and certainly won’t connect with people on an emotional basis. But, if you put that magic energy into all of your work, you can create something that touches people on a deeper level. How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it? Answer it now.

You Know

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~~~~~

Every day I realize that I don't know much about anything.  There is literally more information created in the last 20 years than ever existed in human history, so I don't feel bad about that fact.  Despite how little I know and the sheer volume of info, I make it a daily point to explore new ideas, read various perspectives, and reinforce those few things I do know.  The process of gathering new information always ends with two questions "What do I know about this?" and more importantly,  "What do I know about me?"


If you think about it, "What do I know about me?" is really the fundamental question.  Let's face it, escaping information would require herculean effort.  That's asking that you not take a weekend digital sabbatical, but get exiled from the digital world!  Quite frankly, Twitter is growing on me, I'm quite fond of Facebook, and the internet, well, the internet makes my soul smile... so, I am NOT leaving.  The only filter I have is knowing myself.  Am I critical and stable enough to read or see a new concept/idea without arbitrarily assigning expert status to the presenter?  On the other hand, can I give these ideas a fair chance to influence me if they contain truth?  

If everything you're exposed to causes you to change your ways,  you're standing on shifting sand.  While improving your life is a possibility, it's haphazard at best because many of your changes won't stick.  It's those that are critical, without being cynical, that create the lasting change; forming new habits to foster intentional growth. 

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In response to...

We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, “What do I know about this?”

(Author: Jen Louden)

Speak Less

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I've been part of Trust30 since it started.  I've reflected on the prompts, written the posts, and read several other participants posts as well.  Despite all of that, it wasn't until I started to write this post that I realized that I have been sitting on, thinking about, dreaming about, discussing... essentially doing everything but writing!  I would write for a couple of days, then stop.  Start again later, then stop.  The funny thing is, for the longest time I didn't know why.


Several of my older posts came to mind, particularly the ones about fear and failure, and I realized (you can see where this is going) that I was afraid of failing.  At some level I didn't think I had anything to say; I haven't lived the life that the authors I follow have.  I haven't had similar experiences that motivated me to read their stories.  I would dream big and falter at how far I'd have to go.


This post has been a reminder that most often the things that stop us are internal.  We defeat ourselves before we start and sabotage ourselves as we progress.  Recently, a blog buddy of mine, Denise, wrote about having a "dream-inspired moment" and those are exactly what dreams are made of.  

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In response to...
I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?

(Author: Laura Kimball)

Facing (and Fearing)

Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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It's so much easier to follow our mind.  The path is already clear before us, many others travel with you, and success is very clearly defined.  There is much on the line when one decides to follow their intuition.  You can never be quite sure where you'll end up,  Others, ignorant of the heart's journey, will look upon you with scorn in their eyes.  Lastly, you'll endure much of this alone.  For all of that, it's the path of the heart that makes people great.  

When the brain leads, your steps are ordered and planned.  You worry less because you can see the process.  The heart's method is less apparent because the path is veiled.  This obscurity will make some people freeze, losing faith in the heart's way.  The intuitive path asks that you see clearly and at the same time walk blindly; having the clarity to know when inaction is caused by waiting for the right moment/opportunity or fear and the faith to walk into the fog without knowing what lies beyond it.

The people I've met in life who follow their intuition seem to be more grounded.  Following your intuition is a process of revealing values.  Though the path you walk is uncertain, your concept of who you are gains focus.  Also, not knowing where you're headed forces one to rethink the concept of a good or bad situation and trains you to instead ask why you're there.  This critical look at experience helps one to see meaning in positive and negative situations and to remain stable in turbulent and calm times alike. 

Following your intuition is not for the faint of heart.  In my eyes, its designed to make us more resilient, capable of walking with others or alone with equal competence.  

Can you let go long enough to see what you can become?

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Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:


1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.


2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.


3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.


(Author: Dan Andrews)

Dreams

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I need to go a different direction with this post.  It seems self defeating to spend so much time writing about the future, while today floats by unnoticed and unappreciated.  Being a student of philosophy, this prompt immediately made me think of Epicurus, a Greek philosopher, who said: 

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for"

Dreams are important.  I can't deny that, nor would I try.  That being said, a line must be drawn.  A line between what is and what might be.  How long can we spend focusing on the things we don't have before what is within our grasp loses its luster?  Spending my life and mental energy chasing an idea or ideal is not only unfulfilling, but also entirely unsustainable.  When does the cycle end?  Is success/happiness then the process of always reaching for a new benchmark, goal, or standard?  If we continue to obsess about our perceived "lack" we will fail to see how full our lives really are.

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In response to...

Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them.

Invent the Future

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I'll have a wife and 2-3 kids and 3 ferrets.  My family and I are living in a suburban home.  It will be the ideal location because it isn't far from a major city or from the country.  Yup, even my house is in the middle of two extremes.  


At this point, I will be working in a teaching focused higher education institution.  I'm not sure what I'll be teaching, but I'll love it and my students will be engaged because of my enthusiasm.  I'll also be involved with students outside of the classroom.  We would meet for dinner to discuss ideas and talk about life.  I would also be writing a successful blog that is largely followed by student bloggers; another venue for the marketplace of ideas to occur.


My invented future isn't too complex.  Regardless of what I do, I want my impact to be focused on people.  I'm not concerned with being renowned for the impact I have; but hope to not to be forgotten too quickly and remembered with a smile.

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In response to...

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.

Wholly Strange and New

It's not often that I immediately have the answer to one of these prompts dancing at my fingertips!  


My moment hasn't come, but I look forward to the day of its arrival.  At some level, I'm following my father's path; not his footsteps, but his direction in life.  I think I will truly start cutting my own path when I become a husband and father.  Of all the ways one can define success, I believe that creating a loving, supportive environment for my future wife and kids is tantamount.  


My dad is an excellent example of what a father/husband can and should be.  He worked hard and played equally as hard with my siblings and I.  I learned a lot about manhood and fatherhood from my dad.  Even though he is a shining model, my methods of expression of love and support will be distinctly different.  I can't be the man my father was, but must learn from his example and choose my own path.  


Currently, my life is pretty selfish; I live alone, no pets, no girlfriend and yet I know I have a lot to give.  When my time comes and I put those hats on, I'm sure I'll wear them well and build a great family.  In my mind's eye, I see me holding my first born, the moment when my wife and I stop being the married couple and become a family...  


Wow.  Definitely wholly strange and new.  
  

~~~~~~~

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.

One Thing

Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. 

~~~~~~~

I think there are two different extremes of people (this is a gross simplification btw).  One type is the doer, they imagine a destination and start walking, until they reach it.  The other is a thinker.  This person, to quote some Mos Def, is wrestling with words and ideas and the process of thinking is the journey to who knows where.

I state this because many of the things that prompt me to say, "Geez, that would be cool to do" do not inspire me to action.  Often I'm content to imagine what could be and move on to think about something else.  This isn't to say that I don't accomplish anything, but rather when something moves me to action, it also moves me to completion.  So, in my mind, if I haven't done it yet, I'm either waiting for it to be revealed to me, or its already a done deal.  

Very intangible, but its how I work my mojo.  


Today showed me the importance of taking risks.  

Alternative Paths

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.

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I'm a big fan of personality assessments.  One of my favorite assessments is called StrengthsFinder.  Out of 34 themes of talent, this tool selects your top 5 strengths.  My test results showed my number talent to be Adaptability.  The description of this talent is, "They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time."  I illustrate that aspect of me because not only am I open to new opportunities, I actively seek them out.  

Much of my life, up to this point, has been a process of opportunities presenting themselves and me taking full advantage.  I often feel as if I've been placed somewhere rather than choosing to go; my heart and mind working in concert.  To repurpose a little bit of Christian Scripture, my heart picks the path and my mind devises the way.  Seriously, what fun is a journey that moves in a straight line?  

Today I rediscovered the Art of Doing Nothing.

Surprise

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?

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I Can Do Everything!

It would seem that I don't get surprised easily. That isn't because of amazing resourcefulness developed by  studying the ways of MacGyver. When I stretch myself, I tend to ask a little help from the Big Guy; whether I fail or succeed, there's a lesson to be learned.  Oh, Big Guy is my nickname for God... Yeah, we're that tight.  

All that being said, I can't honestly say that nothing surprises me.  Whenever I learn that something I said or did inspired someone close to me to change I'm always pleasantly surprised.  It's so amazing to me to see the seeds that you plant in others suddenly sprout, without ever knowing you touched them in that way.  It's especially impactful to me because I was never the example growing up; how I lived wasn't exemplary.  I can't really say that how i live today is exemplary, but it has its bright spots.

So, how will I surprise myself this week?  

Let's give it a week and be surprised together.   

Fear

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson



*Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?
Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?


Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?

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I've been pondering these questions all day and have come up with nothing.  There is no fear or insecurity that comes to mind that is holding me back.  I completely agree that the things people often worry and stress about are, in the big picture, irrelevant.  Quite frankly, I think that's awesome.  I guess I feel that many of the things I want are, intentionally, well within reach.  

I don't dream in detail.  I keep the things I want in life as broad ideas.  For example, I know that I want to teach.  Done.  No more detail.  Perhaps it will be as a professor, adult education, a fitness class, whatever.  All of those paths aren't created equal, I definitely would prefer to be a professor and am working towards that end, but I'm flexible to where life takes me.  The important thing is that I get to teach.  Let's look at this using a relationship model.  Some people have a list of qualities for their partner.  That list is so important that good matches are thrown aside because they lack line items 4 and 5. I think that's a little crazy, but its great if you can find it.  In my mind, what it all boils down to is people wanting someone to give and receive love.

I guess my question is, what are you really dreaming about?

Today was proof that sometimes the best outcomes come from the least planning.

Divine Idea

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

~~~~~~~

I may be off base here with my response but...

Who doesn't imitate?  When did imitation equate with suicidal tendencies?  I love to change things up in my life, based upon things I see, hear, and read.  That's how I improve.  It's by seeing examples of others that I see what can be different.  It's how I learn how much more I can do.  I think the idea of imitation is too broad.  I think imitation comes into play if I say, "I'm going to incorporate this into my life, just because this person (i.e. celebrity, colleague, friend) does it."  In my mind, that is a suicidal tendency.  My divine belief is that I need to continually strive to be a better man.  To do that, I think I have to imitate the things I see, not because this specific person does it, but because it has universal appeal.  Eventually, that "imitation" becomes "incorporation" as I take the good I see in others and make changes in myself to stay true to my divine belief.  

Imitation, in and of itself, is pure.  Neither good or bad.  The question is, how do you use it?

Today was a reminder that good health is an important aspect of life that must be pursued to maintain.

Your Personal Message

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

~~~~~~~

Well, I do have a thought on my heart.

Practice being content.  The biggest reason that people suffer is their attachment to expectations.  We go to college and thus expect to get a great job after graduation.  We've put 2+ years into XYZ relationship and expect it to work out.  We work SO hard at our jobs and expect acknowledgement and advancement.  Then, when those expectations aren't met it shakes our very foundation!  We cry out at the storm, shaking our fists vainly at the unjust gods. But, the truth of it is, you have no right to anything you expect in life.  

See, life has different mathematics.  In our minds, Hard Work + Dedication = Success.  That seems like a solid formula.  That same equation in Life's eyes could lead you to financial failure, marriage, prison, the possibilities are limitless!  Whatever path we take, we can only see so far.  Thus the key is to practice contentment; being able to feel the lows and highs of life and knowing that they are temporary states.  Repeat- Lows AND Highs.  Some people spend their lives seeking only the positive only to find that they can't sustain it and suffer as a result.  Any extreme is exactly that.

As I was writing this post, it reminded me of a song by the lovely, India Arie entitled, "Back To The Middle"  One verse of the song says, "

You gotta take the good with the bad, and you might hit the wall

Sometimes you'll fly and sometimes you'll really fall

There ain't no way to avoid the pain, But it's

Getting burned, that's how you will learn to come back to the middle

Today showed me that a continual state of stress is harmful, but experiencing and recovering from stress allows us to grow.

Afraid To Do

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

~~~~~~~

I understand that if I were to write this secret down, it would be as if I was born anew.  I could lay my burden down, leave it behind me, and almost glide into tomorrow.  Yet, despite freedom at my fingertips, I'm reluctant to reveal it.  I've carried this secret for a long time; so long that its influence, for better or for worse, has shaped the man I am today.  I could no more lay it down on a whim than remove my scars; and really, why would I?  It's not as if my secret is holding me back, keeping me down, inhibiting my full enjoyment of life or any complete expressions of love.  Rather, it's like having a Jiminy Cricket in my head, that reminds me to not make that mistake again (though like Pinocchio, I sometimes ignore).

It's not that this secret will never see the light of day.  I will, inevitably, need to share it with someone, but that time is not now and that person isn't here.  Some things are best said face-to-face, with a someone close to you, 

and not on the internet...

V.

Today taught the lesson that I must be intentional to make space for creativity.